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When God sent a great flood to destroy almost all his own creation, he chose Noah to save the animals and preserve life on Earth beyond the great disaster. The story of how humans, through their own folly, bring catastrophe upon the world has always struck a deep cord. And the theme of saving of animals from mankind’s mistakes appeals greatly to children, and to everyone who cares for the natural world. Noah appears in both the Bible’s Book of Genesis and in the Quran.

This reading by Natasha is a “vintage” recording from our most secret treasure trove. We made it in 2007 and have not previously released it on Storynory. We also have another version of the story read by John Le Mesurier

Read by Natasha. Version by Bertie. Duration 6.32.

When the world was still very young, it began to fill up with people and all sorts of creatures including fury four-legged ones, birds, fish, fluttering butterflies, slithering snakes, creepy-crawly spiders, and insects.

In those days there was a man, called Noah, He was 600 years old. Noah was hard-working, honest and loved God with all his heart. However, the whole world had become very mean and evil. Everyone was lying, cheating, and stealing. People often got into fights, and sometimes they even killed each other.

God saw all this, and was sad that men and women had become so evil. God decided to send a great flood and drown all of his creation under the waters. That way, He wouldn’t have to look down on all the wickedness that upset him so very much.

He told Noah of his plan. God told Noah, “You must build a huge boat out of gopher wood.” It was to be called an “ark’, which means a place of safety. It was to have a great door, just one window, and three floors inside, filled with clean straw and plenty of food. He was to make it water-proof by putting black tar between the planks of wood. The boat was as big as a cruise ship (but not that nice of course). Next Noah was to tell his family to come and live in the ark, and they must also bring one male and one female of every type of creature. Noah understood his job of building the ark and saving the animals, two of every kind.

And so Noah and his three sons, who were called Shem, Ham, and Japheth, set about building the Ark. Other people saw them working hard in the hot sun, and thought that they were wasting their time. They laughed at Noah and his sons and teased them. But still Noah kept believing and building,… believing and building..everyday. Till one day, the ark was completed. Noah and his sons collected the animals, two of every kind and gathered them in the ark.

They did not need to keep them apart, because the Lions understood that they must not eat the deer or the sheep on board the ark. The foxes didn’t eat the hens, and wolves left the sheep alone. They all lived on grass and leaves, and although the larger animals became a little thin, they were content to lie down and leave the other creatures unharmed. Only the insects had to look out, incase an elephant or a horse trod on them by accident, but fortunately, that didn’t happen.

Then just as God had promised Noah, it began to rain. The rain began to fall by the bucketful and the skies emptied out all their water. It rained and it rained. In fact, it never stopped raining for one second. It rained for forty days and nights. The whole world was covered in water, and everybody drowned, except for the fish and Noah’s family and the animals who were safe in the Ark.

Everyone on the Ark was dry and safe, , but the food was running out, and the people and animals began to look at each other hungrily. The wolves began to howl, and the lions prowled up and down. Noah was worried in case one of the wolves decided to have lamb for dinner, and then there would be no more lambs, ever again. But he need not have worried, because the wolves remained well behaved.

Only after 150 days did the water start to do down, and the bottom of the Ark came to rest on the top of a mountain called Ararat. Noah looked out of his window but all he could see was water.

He wondered if there was any dry land anywhere in the world, and so he released a black bird called a raven into the air. But raven could not find any land or trees, and it flew back to the ark. A week later, he sent out a white dove, but it came back with an empty beak as well. A week after that, he sent the dove again, and she flew around until she found a tree to rest on. She returned to the ark with an olive leaf in her beak, and Noah knew that there was a tree above the water. After another week, he sent the dove out yet again, and she did not return, so he knew that she had found a dry place to live. Everyone on board the ark celebrated, because they were all longing to leave the ark, which to tell you the truth, was becoming rather smelly.

And it happened that after an a year, a month and a day, Noah opened up the ark and he, his family, and all the creatures stepped out onto dry land. What a day that was ! How the animals bounded around full of joy. It was the springiest spring in the history of the world.
Stretching above the sky was a beautiful rainbow. And God said to Noah, I have placed a rainbow in the sky as a sign of a promise that I will never destroy the earth and its creatures by a flood again. So go forth, have children and fill up the earth again, and enjoy the world in all its beauty.
And that’s exactly what Noah and his family did.

Now every time a rainbow appears in the sky, it is a reminder to all of us of the promises God made and the great faith Noah had to believe.

When the world was still very young, it began to fill up with people and all sorts of creatures including fury four-legged ones, birds, fish, fluttering butterflies, slithering snakes, creepy-crawly spiders, and insects.

In those days there was a man, called Noah, He was 600 years old. Noah was hard-working, honest and loved God with all his heart. However, the whole world had become very mean and evil. Everyone was lying, cheating, and stealing. People often got into fights, and sometimes they even killed each other.

God saw all this, and was sad that men and women had become so evil. God decided to send a great flood and drown all of his creation under the waters. That way, He wouldn’t have to look down on all the wickedness that upset him so very much.

He told Noah of his plan. God told Noah, “You must build a huge boat out of gopher wood.” It was to be called an “ark’, which means a place of safety. It was to have a great door, just one window, and three floors inside, filled with clean straw and plenty of food. He was to make it water-proof by putting black tar between the planks of wood. The boat was as big as a cruise ship (but not that nice of course). Next Noah was to tell his family to come and live in the ark, and they must also bring one male and one female of every type of creature. Noah understood his job of building the ark and saving the animals, two of every kind.

And so Noah and his three sons, who were called Shem, Ham, and Japheth, set about building the Ark. Other people saw them working hard in the hot sun, and thought that they were wasting their time. They laughed at Noah and his sons and teased them. But still Noah kept believing and building,… believing and building..everyday. Till one day, the ark was completed. Noah and his sons collected the animals, two of every kind and gathered them in the ark.

They did not need to keep them apart, because the Lions understood that they must not eat the deer or the sheep on board the ark. The foxes didn’t eat the hens, and wolves left the sheep alone. They all lived on grass and leaves, and although the larger animals became a little thin, they were content to lie down and leave the other creatures unharmed. Only the insects had to look out, incase an elephant or a horse trod on them by accident, but fortunately, that didn’t happen.

Then just as God had promised Noah, it began to rain. The rain began to fall by the bucketful and the skies emptied out all their water. It rained and it rained. In fact, it never stopped raining for one second. It rained for forty days and nights. The whole world was covered in water, and everybody drowned, except for the fish and Noah’s family and the animals who were safe in the Ark.

Everyone on the Ark was dry and safe, , but the food was running out, and the people and animals began to look at each other hungrily. The wolves began to howl, and the lions prowled up and down. Noah was worried in case one of the wolves decided to have lamb for dinner, and then there would be no more lambs, ever again. But he need not have worried, because the wolves remained well behaved.

Only after 150 days did the water start to do down, and the bottom of the Ark came to rest on the top of a mountain called Ararat. Noah looked out of his window but all he could see was water.

He wondered if there was any dry land anywhere in the world, and so he released a black bird called a raven into the air. But raven could not find any land or trees, and it flew back to the ark. A week later, he sent out a white dove, but it came back with an empty beak as well. A week after that, he sent the dove again, and she flew around until she found a tree to rest on. She returned to the ark with an olive leaf in her beak, and Noah knew that there was a tree above the water. After another week, he sent the dove out yet again, and she did not return, so he knew that she had found a dry place to live. Everyone on board the ark celebrated, because they were all longing to leave the ark, which to tell you the truth, was becoming rather smelly.

And it happened that after an a year, a month and a day, Noah opened up the ark and he, his family, and all the creatures stepped out onto dry land. What a day that was ! How the animals bounded around full of joy. It was the springiest spring in the history of the world.
Stretching above the sky was a beautiful rainbow. And God said to Noah, I have placed a rainbow in the sky as a sign of a promise that I will never destroy the earth and its creatures by a flood again. So go forth, have children and fill up the earth again, and enjoy the world in all its beauty.
And that’s exactly what Noah and his family did.

Now every time a rainbow appears in the sky, it is a reminder to all of us of the promises God made and the great faith Noah had to believe.

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When we last left Astropup, he was flying into the mouth of a giant space ship shaped like a bird (see Astropup for Freedom). At the centre of the space ship is a giant tree holding up the nests and families of thousands upon thousands of highly intelligent birds. Astropup’s commanding officer, the major (who is a parrot) wants to stay. So will our Space Dog hero be stranded on the Ship of Birds?

Read by Richard Scott. Story by Bertie. Duration 16.59.

Astropup and the Ship of Birds

Hello again,

It’s a floating paradise.

Insects, butterflies and worms but no dogs. Mice for the birds of prey to feed on. Their planet was invaded by the cat people, so they set sale in this giant space ship

The Wise Old Bird – is the ships computer – and nodes are attached to his brain. Exotically plumed birds to entertain him

One of these days he’ll get too hungry and eat a bird.

The Parrot finds that he’s nothing special when he’s surrounded by so many clever birds.

Trying to build paradise, the perfect society, but it’s boring……. No jokes. No fun. It’s alright for a holiday, but there’s more to life than perfection. A world full of smarty pants would be pretty annoying after a while.

The birds fix the ship – but the dog can’t fly it. Parrot feels a bit foolish when shown mistake. Dog has to eat worms – and mice. Stores in the ship – but leave them for the journey back.

Try the intelligence test – not smart enough to be the wise old bird. Has to sit an exam. But sparrows are stupid. Might eat a smart bird.

Call the dog a dumb animal. Intelligence and eugenics. Stupid birds get eaten by the sparrow hawks and eagles. geometry- the only pure truths. Everything else is relative. The temple – the number PI.

Cats are crazy, wher-ever you go in the universe.

Is it always wrong to bite a postman, where-ever you go in the universe?

Birds leave the nest, but never fly too far.

Transcendental mathematics.

One bird is sitting calculating it to a billion decimal points. 3.141593 iIn Euclidean plane geometry, π is defined as the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter:[7]

Dog says that he’s seen enough to know that there are universal truths of the universe – like cats have no conscience and Might is Right. Ah not the strongest, but the brainiest.

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We bring you this sad, but we hope beautiful, story in verse. Orpheus the musician married Eurydice the shepherdess. When she was killed by a snake, he traveled down to the underworld and was granted one chance to fetch her back to life. Bertie has freely adapted this ancient tale into his own verse. And yes, we did warn you, it is sad.

Read by Richard Scott. Written by Bertie. Duration 12 minutes.

Thanks to our sponsor, Sweetpea3.

I speak of a man of sweet honeyed melody,

Whose love sick heart had no remedy

But to travel to where none before,

Save sad souls who live no more,

Have been and seen and ne’re come back:

The land of DEATH where all is black.

But where we start is under the sun,

Of ancient Greece, where legends begun.

Orpheus his name, and music he made,

Like no other who sang or played

His notes unfold upon the breeze

He woos the birds, he charms the trees,

No living thing is quite immune

When Orpheus plays his tender tune.

His skill commands the strings of the lyre

Under his orders, it sings like a choir

Of love for a woman: Eurydice.

Though his tongue was tied in speech, he,

As a man who hardly knew her,

Walked by her side and tried to woo her.

Without reply. Her pretty head

She turned away, and no word said.

She, sixteen, a sweet shepherdess,

Her heart, not hard, but I tell, you no less

Than twenty suitors she had turned away,

For she thought it too soon, to see her wedding day.

But then he sang, and his sweet voice carried

straight to her heart, and soon they were married.

Oh what a wedding! I wish you were there,

To join the feast in open air,

A thousand guests, a handful human,

The piper god Pan and his crewmen,

Nymphs and Dryads, Satyrs and Fawns,

Demi-Gods dancing all over the lawns

Horns and hairs sprout from their faces

For Ancient Greece was one of those places

Perilously populated by peculiar creatures

Who in modern times don’t often reach us,

Gods mingled with mankind

And often offspring, they left behind,

Back then, no one thought it queer,

To see a girl, with a head like a deer,

Or when out wondering some woodland track

To find a boy, with a goaty back.

Eurydice smiled and danced and charmed

All who saw her were quite disarmed,

Is she mortal, or a goddess divine?

Oh too mortal, Eurydice mine !

The sweet Cicadas in the grass

Sang their legs off, but none could surpass

The melodic magic of the man

Who outdid all nature as he sang

Orpheus played upon his lyre.

Love out-glowing the sun-set’s fire.

Darkness fell, the dryads danced on

And Eurydice sang and tripped along

The flock of girls ran down to the stream

and splashed along the waters clean.

The bride lifted up her white wedding hem

and hurried along, ahead of them,

But alack alas she did not see

The snake that struck beneath her knee.

Venom flowed deep from deadly fang

And over the hills the mourning bell rang.

When Orpheus kissed the lifeless hand

Her soul had gone to another land,

His lungs gulped air as if to cry,

But he could not cry. His eyes were dry.

The hills were silent as if for a year,

And then he sang, a song so sincere,

So sad, so simple, so straight from the gut,

That all who heard it, felt nothing but

The sweet sadness of this turning world,

where beauty must wrinkle, and grow old,

That, or in the warmth of youth, turn cold.

Men heard it, Nymphs herd it. Fawns heard it. Gods heard it.

Down in the depths of Hades, the word it,

reached the royal ear of the Lord of the Dead.

Pale faced Pluto, whom all men dread.

He spoke to Persephone, the queen of the hosts,

who inhabit the depths where all are ghosts.

“Dearest, Deathly, Queen have you heard,

The ringing music, the lovely sound,

The lament which echoes all around,

The land of the sun, and the world of the gloom,

For the girl Eurydice, who has met her doom? “

“Yes, my dear, I have heard the cry,

‘Why,’ he sings, ‘must sweet she die,

My young simple shepherdess,

Who is yet to feel, her husband’s caress?’

We doomed death so soon, for it must be so,

That the mortals feel, their share of woe,

But now I regret it. I feel it’s not fair,

That a voice of such beauty, be filled with care. “

And so it was, Orpheus sang by the river,

The Styx, it is called, it causes a shiver,

For it flows over ground, then down beneath,

To the land that’s guarded by the teeth,

Of Cerberus. The three headed dog of death,

When you breath no more, you smell his breath.

While Orpheus sang a boat came by

Propelled by a wind that sounded like a sigh.

The ferryman offered to carry him along,

To where none who lives can linger long.

So down to Hades, Orpheus went,

The first living man, who there was sent.

And when the dog who guards the gate,

Growled to him that he must wait,

Till death deals its dreadful blow,

He sang back . No no no !

Only he sang it so sweetly, so piteously, so sadly,

That the dog rolled the rock back, only too gladly,

And the music man entered the gates of Hell,

The place where we all must one day dwell.

And there Orpheus met, the ghost of his mother,

He tried to hug her, but could only recover,

A fleeting, empty, insubstantial thought,

Of she who had loved him, since he was naught.

And then he was granted, an audience before,

The Queen of Death, whom all hold in awe.

She whose heart does not beat,

Save once, when she heard a musician entreat,

A sentimental lament to reverse the law,

that has held enthrall, all before.

No ordinary musician, but Orpheus he,

Who moved to pity, Queen Persephone.

“I grant your wish, for your wedded wife,

That she should return back to life,

You may lead her up the trail to light,

But not once, must you take in the sight

Of she who follows faithfully your way.

Do not look back, or she shall stay!”

So spoke Persephone, and Orpheus heard,

And he agreed, to her every word.

He set off to the world of life,

Playing a love song for his longed-for wife,

She followed happily, twenty paces behind,

But Orpheus fell victim to his artistic mind

To be ruled by reason he was never meant,

Impulse and passion made up his temperament.

The journey was long and the way was steep,

Far to far, for Orpheus to keep

His promise to she who is queen of Always,

Who when she speaks, means what she says.

He wavered you see, he suspected a trick,

He worried himself, until he was sick.

Perhaps the queen had given her word,

Only to make him, look absurd.

What if his wife had lost the track?

He could not help it. He looked back.

‘Goodbye my sweet, adieu, adieu,

I only gave my love to you,’

So sang his wife, Eurydice,

A simple, sad, sweet melody.

And Orpheus took his beloved lyre,

And threw it upon, the furious fire.

And that was the end of the musician’s song

And though his life was painfully long,

He no more sang to human kind

For lack of the love he left behind.

Copyright Hugh Fraser 2010 (aka Bertie)
Written For Storynory.com

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Since Astropup last went into space, he has started to think big thoughts about the universe. Now he is torn between the love of his owner, Jenny, and his thirst for space exploration. He returns to the launchpad for another mission with his companion the Major (who is a parrot in the Space Force). But this time the Major takes matters into his own beak.

Sponsored by Sweetpea3 (thank you !)

Read by Richard Scott. Story by Bertie. Duration 17 minutes.

Hello, my name’s Astropup, and if you are one of the pack that heard my earlier adventures, you’ll know that I have seen wonders and abominations in all four corners of the Universe. But in between my voyages through space, I lead a normal family life. I live with a little girl called Jenny who looks after me. You may recall that Jenny and her family moved to a sunny part of the world called Kuwait. Their home was in a compound surrounded by a high fence. There were other houses for the families called “expats”, and we all shared a big garden with shady palm trees and cooling fountains. Some might have called it Paradise.

Every now and then, I would come across a cat creeping through the flower beds on its fat belly. I found that I had lost the urge to chase such pathetic creatures. When you have seen all infinity, you have bigger thoughts on your mind than pesky felines. Yes, thoughts, they were what ailed me. I hadn’t had many of them before, but seeing other worlds and meeting alien life forms expands a dog’s mind. I started to wonder if pampering and love might be a sort of slavery. I had an itch for freedom, and you couldn’t scratch it. I had seen the Planet of the Cats. I longed to discover the Planet of the Dogs.

Sometimes I would put my paw in Jenny’s hand and she would gaze at me with loving eyes and say:

“Don’t worry darling Bonzo. I’m never ever going to let them shoot you up into space again. If they come to get you, I’ll hang on to you and I won’t let go. They’ll have to send me with you to the other side of the heavens, and Daddy will never let them do that.”

“Bonzo” was what she called me by the way. It was an affectionate name, but it didn’t seem to fit me anymore. By then I thought of myself as Astropup, the space explorer. My exterior was same fluffy, waggy friend that Jenny had known since puppyhood. But on the inside, I had changed.

The cruelest, most gut wrenching moment of my life took place one day in the garden of our compound. I was lying under an orange tree, when I heard an unhappy voice from within the house. It was jenny crying and saying, “No no. I won’t let them take him. He’s my dog and he belongs here down on Earth, with me, for ever.”

Jenny ran out into the garden and flung her arms around me. I licked her face to tell her that I loved her, but I felt another force tugging at my heart. I saw a man with a Parrot sitting on his shoulder. He was my old friend and comrade – the parrot I mean – and he squawked, “Hurry up old boy. The rocket’s on the launch pad”. And with a woof I bounded over and joined him.

As we drove off, I pressed my nose against the back window of the van, and I saw Jenny standing in the doorway of the house with tears in her eyes. My heart was wrenched into two.

Well I had chosen adventure over the cushy life, and boy I got it. I’ve told you before how take-off is a nasty experience, well this was a blast to remember, because as we were going up, and the g-force was pulling our stomachs down, I saw a piece of metal fly past our window. The Major – that was the parrot – saw it too. “Uh-oh,” he said, And oh, how I wished I was back in the arms of Jenny.

But eight minutes later we reached orbit safely, and all systems seemed to be A-ok. It’s so tranquil up there that it’s hard to worry. I gazed back down at the world. and thought how life goes round in circles like a pup chasing its tail. Even space travel becomes routine after you’ve done it a few times. Well the mechanics of it do, but I’ll always feel a sharp thrill at the start of an adventure: It’s more exciting than even the waft of rabbit scent on the wind. Our mission was only a small one. A quick trip to Mars. My role was to dig in an ancient river bed and bring back samples of Marsian mud. The humans thought they might contain microscopic life forms.

The Major’s job was to set the coordinates, and fire us off in the direction of the Red Planet. He was a cool -headed bird, and normally he worked calmly and methodically at the control panel. It beats me how he remembered which buttons to press, but he did. This time I noticed that his head was nodding more frantically than usual. That worried me. My worst fears were confirmed when he squawked into the microphone;

“Houston, we have a problem”.

The human chatter from the speakers grew quite intense, but the voice of the controller remained calm. He said.

“Ark 3” – that was our ship – “Remain in orbit. A rescue shuttle is standing by.”

I was pleasantly surprised. I had assumed that the humans would leave us hanging up there, rather than go to the trouble of rescuing a bird and a dog. Perhaps the ship was too expensive to dump. But the Major replied:

“Hold on. I can fix it.”

He was grasping an electric screw driver between his claws and undoing a panel. I had never seen him do anything like that. The human controller was saying.

“Major. Your orders are to stay in orbit and await assistance. Do not attempt maintenance. Repeat, do not attempt maintenance”

I added my bark to that, but something seemed to snap inside the Major’s feather breast. He jutted his beak at me:

“Shut your snout and that’s an order.” It was unusual for the parrot to be so petulant. I don’t think he liked being told what to do, even by the humans.

After he had been working for half an hour with a soldering iron, he said “Houston. I’ve patched in the emergency booster.” The human controller was saying: “Do not engage the booster. Remain in orbit and await assistance.”

I gruffed, “Better do what the humans say. It’s their show.”

But the Major replied: “Yeah, yeah yeah, I know what I’m doing. I’m not just a pretty polly you know.”

He pecked on the controls and a few seconds later we were rushing across the galaxy at four times the speed of light. The Major looked like a very pleased parrot. He had wanted to prove something to the humans, and he had done it – or so he thought. We had only been going a few hours when a red light started to flash on the control panel. I noticed it through my half closed eyelid.

“Wake up,” said the Major. “We’re almost there.” But I felt in my tail that something was wrong. I looked up at the space chart on the ceiling. Mars was marked with a red circle. Our position was marked with a green light. The two were nowhere near each other. In fact, even to a simple minded hound such as myself, it was obvious that we were heading in wrong direction. I sat staring it.

“What’s up?” asked the Major.

“We’re lost. That’s what’s up,” I said.

“Naaa!” he replied. But then he saw what I was looking at, and his face turned from yellow to bright yellow.

I couldn’t help myself. I howled and bayed:

“Aw-aw-awwwwwwwww! I should never have left my Jenny!”

The Major started to work at the computer, but I could tell that he didn’t really have a clue how to get us out of this pickle. He was a brainy bird alright, but on this occasion, too smart for his own good, and mine, unfortunately.

I curled up in my kennel and tried to sleep. Our oxygen and water could be recycled indefinitely. If were were careful not to woof our grub down all at once we could keep going for two, maybe three months : but the end result would be the same: starvation in space. I wondered if, when it came to it, I would eat the parrot. I hoped not, because he had been my friend, as well as my doom.

We didn’t hear anything from the humans. Either we were too far away, or they were fed up with us. The parrot worked continuously at the computer for a week, but we kept on heading in entirely the wrong direction. Eventually he said.

“Alright. I’m sorry. You were right. I should have obeyed orders. “

“Don’t fret your feathers” , I said. “I forgive you. At least we will go out gloriously, as creatures of freedom.” 

But how I wished I hadn’t left home. I began to think that if pampering and three meals a day is slavery, then perhaps freedom is overrated. And if it was our destiny to die in space, I would rather have gone down fighting the cat people than wasting away slowly of hunger.

The Major set the computer to beam out a Mayday signal. Actually, we broadcast “Help, Save our Skins” in all the languages that the Major knew, which included parrot, general bird language, animal speak, English, Japanese, and a bit of German. He couldn’t bark, but he could understand dog language. He spoke to me in English and I woofed back. He asked me to record an “SOS”, and added my own “OW-OW-OWWWWW! to the tape.

I can’t say either of us expected to meet anyone up there, but the Universe is so much smaller than you think, or at least that’s what I always find. After about a month of helpless wandering, the Parrot started to squawk excitedly.

“Dog. Dog. Wake up ! We’re saved. Either that or death will come quickly. In any case, our suffering is at an end.”

I rushed over to the window, and could not help letting out a series of excited yaps. A space craft was approaching us, and the nearer it came, the bigger it got. It was huge. I mean the size of an oil tanker or two – and I’ve barked at some out in the gulf off Kuwait so I know what I’m talking about. It was not shaped at all like our own ship. It was more like a bird, with great wings out of the side. It was painted all sorts of bright colours. In fact, it look liked a giant Parrot.

“Oh no. Oh no. It’s alive!” I yelped.

The beak of this ginormous bird opened and it was clear that was going to swallow us up. This was to be our end. A snack for a space monster. There was nothing we could do. Our course was set straight into its mouth. I said goodbye to the stars and saw my life flash before me. I thought of my mother, my six brothers and sisters, the first squirrel that I caught (and then let go), of the day that Jenny chose me and took me home, and of our two trips to the Planet of the Cats.

But as all but the dimmest among you will have gathered, since I am here to tell this tale, this was not the end. It was not a bird that swallowed us up, but a space craft.

When I opened my eyes I saw that the inside of the ship was filled with branches, like a giant tree. We were surrounded by thousands of birds. Some were sitting, some were flying, some were pecking, and still others were doing one of those things and pooping at the same time.

The Parrot stared in amazement through the window. Eventually he said one word.

“Civilisation!”

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This is one of the wonderful Just So Stories by Rudyard Kipling. It explains why a huge mammal – the whale – can only eat the smallest things. The story is full of Kipling’s love of words and sounds, and it’s read with gusto by Richard. In case you missed last week’s story, we had better mention that Natasha is away.

This story is kindly sponsored by Sweetpea3.

If you enjoy this story, you might also like The Elephant’s Child, also from the Just So Stories.

Read by Richard Scott. Duration 12.55

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Quite a while ago, we heard from a dog called Astropup who told us about his adventures in space with clever parrot and a treasonous cat. The years have gone by, and Astropup has been continuing to have adventures. Now he returns to recount some of them.

Natasha is taking a break for a few weeks. We know that you will miss her. We are already – and she’s hardly been away yet ! But we do think that you will enjoy the voice of Richard Scott who is standing in for her.

That’s not the only news. We have a new sponsor Sweatpea3 who make an MP3 player that is specially designed for kids. It’s durable and easy to use, and it’s also cute. We think you will love it. Audible continue to back us too and we are grateful to both our sponsors.

Read by Richard. Story by Bertie. Duration 16.38.

Hello My name’s Astropup, which fitted me quite well way back when I was a young scalawag, but these days I’m more of an old space dog. If you’ve got a good memory, you might recall my first yarn on Storynory.com quite a while ago. That was when I travelled with a brainy parrot and a treasonous cat to a distant planet where cat people were the top dogs, so to speak. I’ve zoomed around the galaxy quite a bit since then, been there, done that, and thought you might like hear about some of my adventures. Well here goes.

After I got back from the abysmal Planet of the Cats, the people at the space centre hung a medal from my collar. For a short happy while, I returned to Jenny, the little girl who cares for me, but it wasn’t long before my other master – duty – was calling me again. As I had so successfully completed one mission, the humans wanted me for the next one. Better the dog you know, so to speak. They had picked up a signal from outer space. The voice sounded like a bark, and the scientists took it as evidence of an intelligent canine species from another world – one perhaps even smarter than sheep dogs.

Once again my traveling companion was the Parrot, who was a Major in the Space Force. His real name is a top secret, and although I do in fact know it, I can’t tell it to you. In any case, I always called him The Major. The Major wasn’t very talkative, or even very squarkative, for a parrot, but when he did speak, he always made good sense, like the time when he told me:

“Cats aren’t clever, you know, they’re cunning, and there’s a big difference.”

I won’t tell you all about lift off, and what a scary horrid feeling it is when you leave this world. I described all that terrible clattering and juddering in my first story. It was more bearable this time because we knew what to expect, and because we didn’t have to endure that cowardly cat screeching “We’re all going to die” every five seconds.

I’m sure that if our spacecraft had been made for humans, there would have been every convenience, like sofas to lie on, carpets to chew on, and gourmet meals out of the freezer. But we animals and birds are second class citizens, even when we are saving the world. You’ve seen the boot of an estate car. Well that’s what our living quarters were like. You couldn’t even open the window. The parrot had a perch. I had a rubber bone. That was our lot for luxuries.

The Major is a brainy bird, and he understood a lot more scientific stuff than I ever will. He said the humans had found a way to bend space, so that we hurtled along at four times the the speed of light without actually going forward in time. Look, if you don’t understand that last sentence, neither do I, so don’t let it bother you. All you have to know is that this form of travel was too new, too untried, and too dicy for humans.

Once we had said goodbye to Earth, it was basically just us and the universe. I can’t tell you how quiet it is out there. And of course there’s no gravity to drag you down. As for that floating around business, it was alright for the bird, he was used to it, but us dogs prefer to keep our paws on the ground. If I wanted to sleep, which was most of the time, I had a kennel, and the walls and roof stopped me drifting off too far.

The parrot had brought along plenty to keep his clever feather brain occupied. He spent his time learning German, to add to his other languages, and solving cryptic crosswords on his computer.

After we had been bending space for about four weeks, we finally picked up a signal. I could clearly hear it through the speakers. It was three long woofs, followed by three short ones: Like this:

Woof woof woof
Wuf wuf wuf.

Intelligent life ! This is what we had come all this way to find. We had been trained in the procedure. The Major started to peck on some buttons on the wall. Our course locked onto the signal and we headed straight for its source. In the meantime, I returned some friendly barks into the microphone, but the major said that we would get there before the sound of my barks – figure that one out if you can.

Before too long, we sighted the distressed space craft through the big window. You could see it was in a bad way, because panels were missing off the roof, and bits and pieces of debris were trailing behind it.

“Best be careful,” said the Major, “We don’t know if these aliens have friendly intentions.”

I couldn’t agree enough, but our orders were to make contact and, if possible, to bring any evidence of their life back to earth. I gruffed into the microphone,

“Hello canine friends. We come in peace. Would you like a tow to anywhere in the Universe?” But they just repeated the woofing exactly as before. It was just like a blooming recording.

“They don’t seem all that smart to me,” I said. The Major looked like he was about to say something clever, but he didn’t have a chance because seconds later there was a loud crash and we were both juddered and thrown all over the place. Fortunately the walls of our quarters were padded with cushions, or one of us might have broken a paw or a wing.

When we had recovered our senses, we saw that the idiots in the other craft had crashed into us. I mean, you’d think with all infinity to drive through, they could have found their own space. But at least our window was now next to there’s. We could see in – and just as I had suspected – their ship was crewed by three fellow pouches.

I can’t tell you what this moment meant to me. You travel millions of miles, you meet beings from another world, and it turns out that they are dogs who are smart enough to build and fly their own space craft, all be it badly.

While pride for my species was swelling in my heart, the Major squawked:

“You stay here. I’m going out for a space walk.”

His space suit was suspended from the ceiling. It was a clever design with a self fastening zip. He was dressed in about a minute, and not much later he was waving a wing at me from the other side of the window. I was glad it was him out there, not me. Fortunately he didn’t find much more damage to our ship than a couple of dents. He hooked up a towing rope to the other ship, and popped back inside via the air lock.

We were almost set to go. I said into the microphone: “Right, where to boys?” and they beamed over a map. The Parrot spent some time studying our own star charts, and comparing theirs to ours. At last he squawked “Got it !” and pecked some coordinates into our ship’s computer. The star map on the ceiling of our quarters lit up, and “Zoom” we were on our way.

As we went, I tried to speak to the dogs in the other ship, but their woofs made little or no sense to me, and I gave up trying to communicate. They seemed to prefer snoozing to talking, and I thought to myself, “Well we will see soon enough what the planet of the dogs is like.”

And sure enough, after only a couple of days we were already in orbit around their world. As I looked down into the swirling seas and sprawling land masses, it all seemed strangely familiar. It was as if I had seen it all before in a dream. I started to think big thoughts, like perhaps the spirits of dogs come from this world when we are born, and return here when we die. Perhaps somewhere else there is a planet of the parrots, and perhaps each and every species has its own home in one corner of the universe, where they are lords and masters and all is perfect for them, just like the humans rule our Earth.

The dogs in the other ship sent over another map with instructions about where to land. If anything, entering a world is worse than leaving it. The ship grows horribly hot with friction against the atmosphere, and you are going so fast you can’t help wondering if you’re going to crash and that will be it, but when the parachute opens and you are drifting down through a clear sky, all is bliss. I wondered what our welcoming party would be like. No doubt they would be as amazed to meet dogs from another planet as we were. My only worry was that they might think me stupid, because it seemed to me that their canine civilisation was as advanced as the humans’ on our own planet.

We landed, as you generally do, with a bone shuddering thud, and after weeks of weightlessness, I had trouble standing up. It’s like learning to to walk all over again. The parrot was flying before I was walking. He was fluttering at the window.

“Core !! “ he said, which was his own parrot language and I didn’t understand it. Then he switched into English, which is what Jenny spoke and which I understand perfectly.

“You’re not going to like this,” he said. I staggered over to the window and pressed my nose against it. A cart was coming towards us along a track through the field. It was pulled by a set of four dogs in harnesses. Seated above in the vehicle were two hideous creatures. It wasn’t the first time we had seen such abominations. They were cat people !

It breaks my heart to recount what happened next. The ship that we had towed was lying on its side. I wondered if the poor dogs had suffered broken bones in the landing, but they were unhurt. The hatch flew open, and they climbed out, and jumped down onto the ground. They ran across the field, their tales wagging, towards the cart. They were glad to be home – back to where dogs were slaves – back to the Planet of the Cats !

“I’ve seen enough,” I said. “Let’s get out of here,” and the Parrot started to apply his beak to the computer. A few pecks fired the rockets and we were lifting off. I hope that our exhaust singed some cat whiskers down below, and if it burned some dog fur, so be it: they were cowards and traitors to their own kind.

For a long while I was silent. I could not take it in. Eventually, when we were well on our way, I said to the Major:

“Why? Why did they want to go back? They were free dogs. We could have taken them back to Earth where they could hold their tails high? Ours might not be the planet of the dogs, but at least, the humans treat us, well, humanely, and not like slaves.”

“Why?” said the parrot. “Some creatures find freedom frightening.”

And I thought to myself, that however much I loved Jenny and my family life, I also loved the freedom of space travel. Yes it was a scary business, but when you are out there in the universe, nobody can tell you what to do. I made a promise to myself that I would never be afraid of freedom, and one day I would find the corner of the universe which dogs can call their own home.

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The adventures of Theo the Monkey take a new turn as he determines to break out of the zoo and take up the fight for what is right in the City.

Mr. Grabber, the keeper of the monkeys cage, has a new scheme which on the face of it seems to be in a good cause. When Theo digs deeper, he finds that Mr. Grabber and his girlfriend are up to their usual criminal tricks.

Read by Natasha. Story by Bertie. Sponsor: AudibleDuration 13.51.

Hello, This is Natasha, and I’m dropping by with a story about Theo the Monkey. You may remember that Theo’s arch enemy is Mr. Grabber, the zoo keeper who is always up to some criminal schemes. Theo believes in justice and is infuriated that Mr. Grabber always seems to get away with his crimes. In this story, Theo decides that he must take up the fight for what is right.

One evening, after the zoo was closed, Mr. Grabber, the keeper of the monkeys, opened the door to the cage.

“Which of you hairy gang would like some banana ice cream?” he called out.

“Oooh, ah ah aha!” replied the nearest half a dozen monkeys who had heard him.

“Well swing on out of the cage and work for your keep,” said Mr. Grabber.

Theo was among the monkeys who reported for duty in a line outside the cage. He wondered what criminal scheme Mr. Grabber would have up his sleeve this time. But that evening, the keeper’s aim seemed surprisingly public spirited. He ordered them to pick up litter and to put it into black bin bags, and whenever they found an old entrance ticket to the zoo, to put it into a special green bag to be recycled. And he promised that he would exchange banana ice cream for full bags of litter.

The monkeys understood perfectly well what to do, and soon they were hopping around the zoo, trailing litter bags behind them, some black, some green. Sometimes one of them would try to put a crisp packet or a sandwich wrapper inside a green bag, and Mr. Grabber would yell.

“Oy, you, that monkey ! Only tickets go in the green bag.“

And while the monkeys were working, Mr. Grabber tipped full bins of litter onto the ground and told them to sort out the tickets from the rest of the rubbish.

After an hour and a half of litter picking, the monkeys claimed their reward, and Mr. Grabber was as good as his word. He gave each of them a big tub of yellow ice cream.

“And there will be more of that tomorrow evening,” he promised.

After dark, Theo spoke to Fucious, the most respected old monkey in their tribe.

“Oh wise one, “ he said, “What is the meaning of Mr. Grabber’s tidying and recycling? Is he a reformed man?”

The silver haired monkey scratched his head. “It is indeed very puzzling. Perhaps even a man as selfish and greedy as Mr. Grabber wishes to save the planet from a mountain of rubbish.”

The next day, the Peters family joined the queue of visitors outside the zoo. Little Jack Peters said:

“I want to see the monkeys and feed them chocolate through the bars so that they all go crazy like this,” and he did a little dance while he scratched himself under the arms.

“That’s silly,” said both his sisters, quite unamused.

When they reached the pay kiosk, Mr Peters asked to pay for two adults and three children.

“That will be £125 sir,” said the ticket seller.

“Oh dear,” said Mr. Peters. “That is rather a lot. I don’t think I have enough money on my payment card.”

“Sorry sir. The prices went up at New Year,” said the ticket seller.

“Sorry kids,” said Mr. Peters, “The zoo’s too expensive. We’ll have to go to the playground in the park. At least that’s still free.”

As the dejected family started to leave, a lady came up to them and said: “Would you like some cheap tickets to the zoo? I bought some for my family in advance, but now grandma has been taken ill and we can’t go. I’ll let you have five for 50 quid.“

Mr. Peters knew a bargain when he saw it and gladly paid.

But he didn’t know that the lady was Mr. Grabber’s girlfriend, and she was selling the recycled tickets that the monkeys had picked up. It was Mr. Grabber’s latest criminal scheme to make quick and easy money .

The plot would have gone undetected, if Theo had not been watching from the top of the cage. His sharp eyes spotted what was happening just outside the entrance to the zoo, and he understood everything.

That evening Theo tried to stop the other monkeys from helping Mr. Grabber to recycle old zoo tickets.

“Don’t do it. You are aiding and abetting a criminal scheme,” he told them.

“No we’re not. Recycling is good,” said a monkey called Janice as she hopped out of the cage to join that evening’s ice cream gang.

Once again, Theo climbed up onto the rock of the wise ones in the centre of the cage, and he consulted Fucious.

“Master, what am I to do?” he asked.

“Stay calm, be patient, watch, and wait for inspiration to tell you what to do,” advised the old monkey.

But Theo was not very good at staying calm and being patient. He was bursting with anger and fury :

“I can not stay here and watch Mr. Grabber get away with it once again!,” he said to himself. “ I cannot stand living with this bunch of monkeys who see no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil even when it is taking place right in front of their noses. I must get out of here. I must escape !”

He fumed for another 24 hours until Mr. Grabber once again opened the cage and offered banana ice cream to the first six monkeys to report for litter picking duty. Theo made sure that he was first to swing out of the cage. He could smell freedom. But before he made his break for it, he quietly slipped his paw into Mr. Grabber’s coat pocket and pulled out a key. Later, when everyone else was busy picking up litter as fast as they could, he climbed up a tree that reached over the wall of the zoo.

Theo landed in the car park. He made for the red motor cycle which he knew belonged to Mr. Grabber. He hopped on board, and looked around the for the ignition. When he found it, he fumbled to get the keys into the slot.

Just then he heard a cry of

“Oy, Stop that Monkey”

Mr. Grabber was running from the zoo gate. His girl friend opened the door of a van where she was waiting, jumped out, and came running towards him from the other direction. She almost managed to grab hold of Theo just as motor cycle’s engine burst into life. Theo let out the clutch and the bike went shooting forward. He was accelerating like a bullet straight for Mr. Grabber who had to dive out of the way.

“Quick, get the van” called Mr. Grabber, And his girl friend ran back to to where it was parked. Soon they were out on the street – They saw Theo shoot through some red lights, causing cars to serve and hoot madly.

“He won’t get far like that,” said the girlfriend.

“But what about my bike? He’ll smash it up for sure.” said Mr. Grabber sadly. It was no use chasing. Theo was soon out of sight.

Theo seemed to know how to ride the bike instinctively. “I must have been a motor cyclist in a previous life,” he thought to himself gleefully, as he dodged round an oncoming police car. He could hear the wailing of sirens, but they soon faded far behind him.

As he chugged up a side road more slowly now, he saw something that filled him with anger. A woman was walking along holding the hand of a small boy, who skipped beside her, trying to avoid the cracks in the pavement. Two youths ran up behind her. One pushed her over, and the other grabbed her handbag. The boy scrammed “Mummy!”. The muggers ran down the street, and they moved even faster when they heard a motor bike revving up behind them. Perhaps you can imagine the terror that one youth felt as a hairy paw grabbed him by the collar and dragged him to the ground. The motor bike skidded round. The monkey jumped off and grabbed the hand bag. A tug of war ensued, the monkey pulling one way, the youths another. A police van pulled up and six officers jumped out and slapped handcuffs on the monkey and the youths.

As the police officer helped the woman to her feet, she said :

“Officer. That monkey helped me. He was rescuing my handbag.”

“Sorry Madam. I’m afraid he’s a notorious criminal, escaped from the zoo. There’s been a call out on all police radios for him. Fits the description exactly he does.”.

‘But he’s a good monkey,” cried the boy.

But the police could not hold Theo for long. He was the Harry Houdini of monkeys. Even as the officer spoke, Theo was wiggling his hairy wrists out of the cuffs. Before a policeman could shout “Stop that Monkey! ” He was on his motor bike and racing down the street.

“Hurray! “ called the small boy. “He’s escaped!”

By the next day, pictures of Theo’s face were in all the newspapers and on all the television broadcasts. Overnight he had become by far the most notorious monkey in the country, if not the world.

He hid the motor bike in the park, because he knew that if he continued to ride it, he would run into a police road block soon or later. He hopped over the rooftops of the town, wondering what fate lay in store for him. His stomach complained bitterly of hunger. He could see fruit store holder down at street level.

“Oooo ! those bananas and apples look so delicious,” he thought to himself. “I could just hop down and pick up some. But oh, I don’t have any money. And it’s wrong to steal. I don’t want to be a criminal like Mr. Grabber, even if the police say that’s what I am.”

But he was so hungry, that he found himself somehow drawn down to the ground, and towards the store. He stared with a starving look at the bananas.

“Hey you’re that monkey,” said the store holder.

Theo didn’t run away. He just looked at him, almost ready to give himself up for in return for some food from the prison kitchen.

“You’re the one they call the Vigilante Monkey,” went on the store holder. “You’re doing a great job. The public’s right behind you. Here, have a banana, take a whole bunch. Take two bunches.”

Theo expected a trick, and as he crept forward he was on the look out for the gleam of handcuffs, and he half thought he could hear the sound of sirens.

But there was no trick. The store holder did give him the bananas, as well as a bag of apples, and a bunch of grapes.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you sir,” he said. “Now be on your way, and mind you don’t get caught. This city needs you.”

And that’s the story of how Theo escaped from the zoo and became known as the Vigilante Monkey.

We’ll soon have more stories about how Theo fights criminals and injustice in his new life as a free monkey roaming over the rooftops of the city. But if you would like to hear some earlier Theo stories, such as The Monkey Who Loved Chocolate, or The Case of the Missing Bunny, you can always drop by at storynory.com and listen to some.

For now…

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We celebrate the Year of the Tiger with a legend of how the tiger got his stripes. The Chinese New Year falls on February 14th in 2010, and anyone born in this year will be lucky and brave (according to horoscopes).

You might also be interested in our story of how the Chinese years were named after animals. And if you like tigers, then try the poem. The Tyger (yes, it is spelt that way because it’s archaic), and our story from India, The Brahman, the Tiger, and the Jackel.

Read by Natasha. Version by Bertie. Duration: 7.01.

A long time ago, when animals still had the power of speech, a white, stripeless tiger, crept to the edge of the jungle and looked out at the paddy fields where the rice grew. He saw a man sitting under a banana tree eating his lunch. Not far away stood a buffalo who was also taking a rest from his work ploughing the fields. The great beast swished his tail to swipe away the flies.

The tiger crept forward on his belly, using his powerful arms to pull himself through the grass, and when he was just behind the buffalo he whispered. “Do not be afraid. I do not come to satisfy my hunger, but to seek your advice. Do tell me the answer to my question,” said the tiger, “For I am so curious to know. I have been observing the puny little man who is your master. He has no strength, no sharp sense of smell. His hands are not strong. His teeth are not sharp. And yet he rules you and makes you work for him. You, on the other hand, are magnificent beast of great and wonderful strength. You are twenty times his weight and size, and I know to my cost that you can put up a fair fight with the best of the beasts of the jungle. I haver heard that the source of man’s power is something called wisdom. So tell me, oh buffalo, what is wisdom, and where does the man get it from?”

The buffalo munched slowly on his grass for a while before answering. “Beats me. I’ve no idea. Why don’t you ask him?”

The tiger saw that he would not get a sensible answer from the buffalo, and so he sprang over the to the man in one great bound, and as he stood before the trembling farmer he said:

“Have no fear little man, for I have not come to satisfy my hunger. I am here in search of wisdom. Do answer my question, please, for it perplexes me. What this thing that men call wisdom? What does it look like? Where does it come from? Will you not share some of it with me?”

The man wiped the sweat of fear from his forehead and said as calmly as he could: “Wisdom is very precious. Must I really give some of it to you?”

“The choice is yours,” said the Tiger, “But do you hear that sound? It is my stomach rumbling. I have not slept or eaten for three days, so perplexed have I been by this question, but now I am starting to feel like I could do with a bite to eat. ”

And the man could indeed hear a low rumbling sound. He replied to the tiger:

“Well of course I will gladly share my wisdom with you. But I’m afraid I have left it at home today. I must go and fetch it for you. If you come back with me, I am afraid the villagers will take fright. Will you wait here while?”

The tiger walked around the man menacingly before giving his reply: “I will wait, but be sure to come back, or I will visit you in your field again tomorrow, and next time I might be more hungry than than inquisitive.”

The man started to walk out of the field, but he had taken only a few steps when he turned back and said:

“Please forgive me. I am troubled by the thought of leaving a hungry tiger here with my animals. Will you let me tie you to this tree while I am away fetching the wisdom? That way my fears will be at rest.”

The tiger was afraid that the man would change his mind about sharing his wisdom. He thought of the great power that only a little wisdom would give him — how with his strength, and with just a little of man’s wisdom, he would rule every creature that walked, slithered, swam or flew across the world. He wanted this prize so much that he agreed to let the man coil a rope around his body and his legs, and tie him to the trunk of the banana tree.

A little later, the man returned to the field with his three sons. Each carried armfuls of dry straw.

“Here, I have kept my side of the bargain. I have brought you wisdom” said the man, and he and his sons laid the straw on the ground beneath the tiger. Then the man set alight to it. Bright orange flames leapt up and burned the tiger. He roared with pain, until at last the fire seared through the ropes, and he sprang to freedom, and bounded for the river where he soothed his burnt fur in the cooling waters.

In time the wounds of the tiger healed, but for ever more his body bore orange stripes where the flames and burned him, and black ones where the ropes had bound him.

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Katie, the ordinary witch, returns for story in which her mother buys her a black kitten to help her with her magic. Katie puts a spell on the cat so that he can talk. Soon he is not only talking, he’s gossipping about all her friends.

Read by Natasha. Story by Bertie. Duration 12.51.

Every Saturday, not far from where Katie lived, there was a market. Farmers came into town and set up their stalls in a car park. They sold the tastiest apples, the freshest eggs, and all sorts of vegetables that still had the mud from the fields on them. Katie liked to go there with her mum who looked for unusual herbs like sorrel, angelica and coltsfoot. Sometimes she made spells with these herbs, but quite often she just put them in her soups. One morning, as they were leaving the market, they passed an old lady who was standing on the corner holding a wicker basket.

“Little girl, do you want to see what I have inside this basket,” she asked.

Katie was a bit afraid, because she thought that perhaps she had something bad in the basket, like apples that were poisonous. Besides, she knew that she must never speak to strangers. But then she heard a little sound.

“Mee-ow”

“Oh mum, can we look please?” she asked.

Katie’s mum was curious to see too. The old lady pulled back the cloth and they saw that inside the basket four little kittens clambering over each other.

“Oh please, they are so cute, mum, can we have one?”

Mum shook her head.

“Oh please, please, can we have a kitten? I want one so much. I promise to look after it and besides”, she whispered, “a cat could help me with my magic.”

One of the kittens was black. Mum picked it up by the scruff on the back of its neck – the way a mother cat picks up her kittens. She examined it closely and made sure that he was completely black without even the smallest white mark on its paws.

“Alright,” she said. “We’ll buy this one.”

Back at home, the fluffy little creature did loads of incredibly cute things like playing with a ball of wool, looking in the mirror and thinking there was another cat there, and climbing in and out of Katie’s shoe.

“Mum, what sort of magic can cats do?” asked Katie

“Cats are very clever and can be your ears and eyes,” said mum, “But you must be very careful. Cats don’t have much tact. They can get you into all sorts of trouble.”

“By my cat’s clever,” said Katie. She picked up her kitten and kissed him. “I shall call you Solomon,” she said. “Because you are so much wiser than ordinary cats.”

The months passed and Solomon grew up into a serious young cat who liked to sit and watch Katie do her homework. He often went out for long walks on his own, and Katie wondered where he wandered and what he saw.

“Wouldn’t it be nice to ask him,” she thought. And then she had an idea. She went into her mother’s room and pulled down a volume from the Encyclopedia of Magic. There were some spells in there that were so secret that they weren’t even on the internet yet. She turned through the pages of magic instructions that began with “C” and she found the one that looked the most promising for her purpose. It was called “Cat’s Tongue”

Katie went out into the garden to pick some catnip. She said a magic spell over it, and came back in to the kitchen to give it to Solomon. He purred appreciatively because there was nothing that he liked more than catnip.

“Now Solomon, “ said Katie, “Can you tell me where you went on your walk today and what you saw?”

“Murrrrr,” said Solomon.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand cat talk,” said Katie.

“I was just thinking,” said Solomon, “What to tell you first. Would you like to know about the mouse that I caught and ate for breakfast?”

“Not really.”

“Or would you like to know about the oak tree where I sharpen my claws?”

“Not especially.”

“Then shall I tell you who I saw with your friend Isis?”

“Yes,” said Katie. “That would be rather more interesting.”

“I saw Isis sitting in her garden with Tim eating ice creams, and do you know what? They kissed !’

“Hu! They didn’t “

“They did, I saw it. “

And Katie was so excited that she couldn’t wait to tell everyone at school all about Isis and Tim, but of course she wasn’t going to tell Isis or Tim themselves, because they obviously already knew about it.

“Wow,” you don’t say?” asked Emma.

“Ugg, how could she? He has blackheads on his nose,” exclaimed Jane.

“But how do you know?” asked Ravinia.

As Katie couldn’t say how she knew, because her talking cat was meant to be a secret, so she just said that she saw it all with her own eyes.

The next day, when Katie came home, she found Solomon sleeping on top of a pile of laundry.

“Solomon, wake up you sleepy moggy, What did you see today?”

“Well,” he said with a stretch and a yawn, “I was walking along the top of the school wall when I saw your friend Isis again. She was talking to Ravinia and she said that you were a spy and a tell-tale-tit. “

“She didn’t !” exclaimed Katie with great indignation.

“Of course, You don’t have to believe me if you don’t want to.”

“I do believe you Solomon. I just meant, like, how dare she say a thing like that? She’s my friend. Well you know what? I’m not speaking to her anymore.”

And for the rest of the week at school, Isis and Katie pretended not to notice each other, even though they were normally the best of friends. When they weren’t falling out with each other, Isis and Katie would share secrets and problems, and quite often, when they got home from school, they would chatter on the phone because they liked each other’s company so much. Now Katie wasn’t speaking to Isis. So she called Paul who used to go her school.

Isis was looking out of her bedroom window at the spot where she had sat with Tim. Tim had given her one tiny little kiss, as an experiment, just to see what all the fuss was about that sort of thing. And she had liked it. She would have liked it less if she had known that Katie was spying on her? But how? The garden had a high wall all around it. Had she climbed up a tree? Or flown over on her broomstick, more like. But however she had spied that kiss, the hurtful thing was that she had gossiped about it. When the rumours started to spread around school, thanks to Katie and her big mouth, Tim became embarrassed and stopped being her friend. While Isis was thinking these sad thoughts, she noticed that a black cat was sitting in the apple tree, watching the birds flutter around the nut container that swung to and fro from a branch.

“I know you,” she said. “Your’e that witch Katie’s cat.”

And then Isis thought to her self. “That’s it ! The cat is Katie’s spy…. but I bet I can turn that cunning creature into double agent. Soon he’ll be spying for me. It doesn’t take much to win a faithless cat’s heart. “ She knew exactly what to do. Two minutes later she was walking down the garden path carrying a saucer of clotted cream.

“Here kitty kitty,” she called. That was all it took. Soon Solomon’s rough tongue was lapping up the cream. “Now would you like to come inside and have some gorgeous smelly sardines?” asked Isis.

“I don’t mind if I do,” said Solomon.

When Solomon had eaten the tinned sardines in the Kitchen, Isis lifted up the feline fellow and took him to her room where she put him down on her big soft pink pillow. As he stretched out she tickled his belly.

“Mrrr. You sure know how to spoil a cat,” said Solomon.

“I sure do,” said Isis. “And you can come here, drink cream, feast on sardines, and lie on my pillow any time you want. But tell me. Who is your owner and what is he or she like?”

“Oh nobody special, just a little witch called Katie,” purred Solomon.

“I know her. She has a boyfriend, doesn’t she?” asked Isis, taking a stab in the dark.

“Not really. She just holds hands with Paul sometimes,” he said.

And Isis thought that was rather interesting. “And tell me, “ she said, “What does she say about the other kids at school?”

“Oh nothing worth knowing. Just that Annabel has bandy legs, and Georgie is a cry baby, and Ravinia can’t be trusted to keep a secret, and Laura is so stupid that she takes notes when she’s watching cartoons on TV.”

That was more than enough information. Five minutes later Isis had dialed Katie’s number and was relating back all the interesting facts that she had just learned.

“That’s s all rubbish,” said Katie. “It’s a tissue of lies.”

“No it’s not. It’s the perfect truth.”

“Prove it,” Challenged Katie. And she immediately wished that she hadn’t said that.

“Alright I will prove it. Your black moggy is lying on my pillow in my room and I’m going to invite to invite Annabel,Georgie, Ravinia and Laura round to hear what he has to say. And then I’m going to tell the entire world about you and Paul. In fact, I’m going to send record dedications for soppy love songs to all the radio stations on your behalf.”

“No you wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

And Katie realised that she was in a tight spot – one that magic wouldn’t necessarily get her out of.

“Ok,” she said. “I’m sorry that I gossiped about you.”

And although Isis didn’t accept her apology right away, the next day at school, when she found herself next to Katie in the dinner queue she asked:

“How’s your cat?”

“I don’t know. He’s not talking to me,”

“You mean that even your cat doesn’t talk to you any more?”

“Not since last night. I took the spell off him. I’m not so sure that a talking cat is such a good idea. “

And after that, Isis and Katie became friends again – because everyone needs somebody special that they can talk to.

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A proud and haughty princess refuses to marry because no man is good enough for her. She mocks every suitor, especially a king whom she calls “Thrushbeard”. Her father devises a plot to make her less proud.

You may notice that this story by the Brothers Grimm has much in common with The Taming of the Shrew, the comedy by William Shakespeare.

Read by Natasha. Duration 10.34.

A king had a daughter who was beautiful beyond all measure, but so proud and haughty that no suitor was good enough for her. She sent away one after the other, and ridiculed them as well.

Once the king made a great feast and invited, from far and near, all the young men likely to marry. They were all marshaled in a row according to their rank and standing. First came the kings, then the grand-dukes, then the princes, the earls, the barons, and the gentry. Then the king’s daughter was led through the ranks, but to each one she had some objection to make. One was too fat, the wine-barrel, she said. Another was too tall,  and long and thin has little in. The third was too short,  and short and thick is never quick. The fourth was too pale, as pale as death. The fifth too red, a fighting cock. The sixth was not straight enough, a green log dried behind the stove.

So she had something to say against each one, but she made herself especially merry over a good king who stood quite high up in the row, and whose chin had grown a little crooked. Look, she cried and laughed, he has a chin like a thrush’s beak. And from that time he got the name of King Thrushbeard.

But the old king, when he saw that his daughter did nothing but mock the people, and despised all the suitors who were gathered there, was very angry, and swore that she should have for her husband the very first beggar that came to his doors.

A few days afterwards a fiddler came and sang beneath the windows, trying to earn a few pennies. When the king heard him he said, let him come up. So the fiddler came in, in his dirty, ragged clothes, and sang before the king and his daughter, and when he had ended he asked for a trifling gift. The king said, your song has pleased me so well that I will give you my daughter there, to wife.

The king’s daughter shuddered, but the king said, I have taken an oath to give you to the very first beggar-man and I will keep it. All she could say was in vain. The priest was brought, and she had to let herself be wedded to the fiddler on the spot. When that was done the king said, now it is not proper for you, a beggar-woman, to stay any longer in my palace, you may just go away with your husband.

The beggar-man led her out by the hand, and she was obliged to walk away on foot with him. When they came to a large forest she asked, to whom does that beautiful forest belong.

“It belongs to king Thrushbeard. If you had taken him, it would have been yours.”

“ Ah, unhappy girl that I am, if I had but taken king Thrushbeard.”

Afterwards they came to a meadow, and she asked again, to whom does this beautiful green meadow belong.

“It belongs to king Thrushbeard. If you had taken him, it would have been yours.”

“ Ah, unhappy girl that I am, if I had but taken king Thrushbeard.”

Then they came to a large town, and she asked again, to whom does this fine large town belong.

“It belongs to king Thrushbeard. If you had taken him, it would have been yours.”

“ Ah, unhappy girl that I am, if I had but taken king Thrushbeard.”

“ It does not please me”, said the fiddler, “to hear you always wishing for another husband. Am I not good enough for you?”

At last they came to a very little hut, and she said,

“Oh goodness. What a small house!  To whom does this miserable, tiny hovel belong?”

The fiddler answered, “That is my house and yours, where we shall live together.”

She had to stoop in order to go in at the low door. “Where are the servants?”, said the king’s daughter.

“What servants?” answered the beggar-man. “You must yourself do what you wish to have done. Just make a fire at once, and set on water to cook my supper, I am quite tired.”

But the king’s daughter knew nothing about lighting fires or cooking, and the beggar-man had to lend a hand himself to get anything fairly done. When they had finished their scanty meal they went to bed. But he forced her to get up quite early in the morning in order to look after the house.

For a few days they lived in this way as well as might be, and came to the end of all their provisions. Then the man said, wife, we cannot go on any longer eating and drinking here and earning nothing. You must make baskets. He went out, cut some willows, and brought them home. Then she began to make baskets, but the tough willows wounded her delicate hands.

“I see that this will not do”, said the man. “You had better spin, perhaps you can do that better.”
She sat down and tried to spin, but the hard thread soon cut her soft fingers so that the blood ran down.

“See, said the man, you are fit for no sort of work. I have made a bad bargain with you. Now I will try to make a business with pots and earthenware. You must sit in the market-place and sell the ware.”

“Alas”, thought she, “if any of the people from my father’s kingdom come to the market and see me sitting there, selling, how they will mock me.”  But it was of no use, she had to yield unless she chose to die of hunger. For the first time she succeeded well, for the people were glad to buy the woman’s wares because she was good-looking, and they paid her what she asked. Many even gave her the money and left the pots with her as well. So they lived on what she had earned as long as it lasted, then the husband bought a lot of new crockery. With this she sat down at the corner of the market-place, and set it out round about her ready for sale. But suddenly there came a drunken hussar galloping along, and he rode right amongst the pots so that they were all broken into a thousand bits. She began to weep, and did now know what to do for fear.

“Alas, what will happen to me?”, cried she. “What will my husband say to this? She ran home and told him of the misfortune.

“Who would seat herself at a corner of the market-place with crockery?” said the man. “Leave off crying, I see very well that you cannot do any ordinary work, so I have been to our king’s palace and have asked whether they cannot find a place for a kitchen-maid, and they have promised me to take you. In that way you will get your food for nothing.”

The king’s daughter was now a kitchen-maid, and had to be at the cook’s beck and call, and do the dirtiest work. In both her pockets she fastened a little jar, in which she took home her share of the leavings, and upon this they lived.

It happened that the wedding of the king’s eldest son was to be celebrated, so the poor woman went up and placed herself by the door of the hall to look on. When all the candles were lit, and people, each more beautiful than the other, entered, and all was full of pomp and splendor, she thought of her lot with a sad heart, and cursed the pride and haughtiness which had humbled her and brought her to so great poverty.

The smell of the delicious dishes which were being taken in and out reached her, and now and then the servants threw her a few morsels of them. These she put in her jars to take home.

All at once the king’s son entered, clothed in velvet and silk, with gold chains about his neck. And when he saw the beautiful woman standing by the door he seized her by the hand, and would have danced with her. But she refused and shrank with fear, for she saw that it was King Thrushbeard, her suitor whom she had driven away with scorn. Her struggles were of no avail, he drew her into the hall. But the string by which her pockets were hung broke, the pots fell down, the soup ran out, and the scraps were scattered all about. And when the people saw it, there arose general laughter and derision, and she was so ashamed that she would rather have been a thousand fathoms below the ground. She sprang to the door and would have run away, but on the stairs a man caught her and brought her back. And when she looked at him it was king Thrushbeard again. He said to her kindly,

“Do not be afraid, I and the fiddler who has been living with you in that wretched hovel are one. For love of you I disguised myself so. And I also was the hussar who rode through your crockery. This was all done to humble your proud spirit, and to punish you for the insolence with which you mocked me.”

Then she wept bitterly and said, I have done great wrong, and am not worthy to be your wife. But he said, be comforted, the evil days are past. Now we will celebrate our wedding. Then the maids-in-waiting came and put on her the most splendid clothing, and her father and his whole court came and wished her happiness in her marriage with king Thrushbeard, and the joy now began in earnest. I wish you and I had been there too.